Does it seem that everywhere you turn, almost every relationship has some cheating going on with it? Maybe you have heard that a friend is being cheated on. Chances are that you have had someone cheat on you. Or was it you that was doing the cheating in a relationship?
by SallyDunwell
Does it seem that everywhere you turn, almost every relationship has some cheating going on with it? Maybe you have heard that a friend is being cheated on. Chances are that you have had someone cheat on you. Or was it you that was doing the cheating in a relationship?
Cheating is a painful business. It definitely hurts the person who has been cheated on, the betrayal of trust; and also it hurts the cheater. The cheater has to hide what he is doing, he has to lie about his behaviors, and he has to feel the guilt that inevitably accompanies cheating.
Even if they do not seem guilty, they will feel guilty inside. When there are relationships and cheating happens, it does not mean the end of the relationship.
When you have been in a relationship and have endured the pain of being cheated on, either you have got back together with your partner or never even broken up. It may be that you are worried that you cannot really make things work after there has been cheating going on. Perhaps you feel that they may cheat again.
Saving a relationship when there has been cheating going on, particularly if it has happened a few times, can be very difficult indeed. Rebuilding the trust however, will make it much easier to stay together and be happy.
Do you know why the person cheated on you? That's a very important consideration in whether you'll be able to trust them not to cheat on you again. Were things not good in your relationship at the time, or was it just convenient and just "happened?" You should be able to have a calm discussion about these reasons.
If it turns out that the cheater was just bored that day and when the opportunity came along they just took it, then you have some problems. If the other person cannot give you any better reason than that then you need to think whether you can really forgive them. It will not be easy.
If things were not great in your relationship and there were problems, the other person may have thought the relationship was going to end. If they felt ignored, or undervalued, this might have lead to them cheating. Not to give them an excuse here - there is no excuse for cheating. But if you can understand what was going on at the time you can maybe work on the problems together.
Relationships and cheating are strange in a way, some couples are able to move on and get over the destruction of trust involved in an affair. More often though, the person cheated on cannot get over it. If there is no trust and there is a definite fear that the person will cheat again, - this is a soul-destroying thing to do.
The constant suspicions can make you miserable, and can make the other person feel under a microscope 24/7. You have to decide to trust the person not to hurt you again, and let go of the fear even though it can be very hard to do in relationships and cheating situations. If you feel that your partner is cheating again, then you need to find out for sure and put your own mind at rest, either way.
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